


Worth It

by OswinTheStrange



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Crying, F/F, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, breakdown - Freeform, pushing people away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 05:24:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13757202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OswinTheStrange/pseuds/OswinTheStrange
Summary: Rowena wants Reader to leave because she thinks she isn't worth it after all that's happened to her. Reader disagrees.





	Worth It

"You should leave." The words shocked you to the core. Confusion painted your face as you struggled to fight back the pain that was pushing its way forward. You took a breath, calming yourself. 

 

"What do you mean?" you asked. 

 

"Exactly what I said. You should leave," Rowena repeated. "Staying with me... you shouldn't bother with it." 

 

Hearing those words hurt. But you could see they were hurting Rowena more. She kept her gaze firmly on the floor in front of her, not even glancing in your direction. You could hear the slight waver of her voice and see her unshed tears. Her hands rested by her sides, trembling. 

 

You stepped closer to her. She just stood there, breathing shakily as she fought back the emotions that were threatening to pour out, like boiling water left too long in a pot, ready to spill over the sides. You gently took her hands and she took an audible sharp intake of air. 

 

"I would never leave you," you said. "Ever. Why would you even think that?" 

 

Rowena bit her lip, trying to find the words. "Because... I'm not worth it," she whispered. 

 

The words cut you deeper than a knife. It was even worse that it was  _Rowena_  saying them. For a long as you'd known her, she'd gone around acting like she was a queen, treating herself to only the best because she deserved it. Because she was  _worth it_. And now for her to try pushing you away, saying that she  _wasn't_ , was odd and uncomfortable and terrifying. 

 

"What are you talking about?" you asked. "Of course you're worth it. You're  _always_  worth it." 

 

She shook her head. "Not this time," she said. "I'm not... I can't..." she struggled to find words, mouth opening and closing soundlessly. 

 

"Tell me," you said. "Explain to me why you're thinking this. I want to help." 

 

"You can't!" Rowena exclaimed. "I just... I don't feel like myself anymore. I'm scared all the time! I feel powerless! I can't sleep, I can barely eat, I jump at every noise and shadow. It's eating at me and it's going to leave nothing but an empty shell! I see you worrying yourself sick over me day and night! And it's only going to get worse when Lucifer comes back! And don't tell me he won't, because he  _always_  comes back! And he'll find out I'm alive and he'll come for me and if you're here with me he'll kill you, as well, and I can't protect you! And then he'll—and I—" As she spoke, her words came faster and her voice rose, panicked and wild, until she couldn't speak anymore. Tears streamed down her face as her breathing grew faster. 

 

Every cell in your body ached, wishing to help her. You pulled her close, letting her cry on your shoulder. Her body, which had always held so much power and confidence, now felt tiny and frail. Her hands grabbed fistfuls of your shirt and clutched at you desperately. You rubbed her back, letting her cry herself out. "Sh, it's okay, Ro. I've got you," you whispered. 

 

"No, it's not," Rowena sobbed. 

 

You sighed. She was right. "No, it's not," you agreed. "But I've got you. And I'm not leaving. Not now, not ever. You're stuck with me." 

 

"But Lucifer—" she began. 

 

"Isn't going to hurt you ever again," you said firmly. "Yeah, he probably will come back. But I won't let him anywhere near you. Not unless it's for you to kick his ass straight back to the cage to rot for the rest of eternity." 

 

She shook her head. Her crying had begun to die down by now, but her voice still wavered, despite the strength she tried putting into it. "I don't want him back in the cage. I want him  _dead_ ," she said. 

 

"Then we'll find a way to kill him," you said. "With the two of us, we'll find a way. You're Super Witch and I'm your awesome apprentice-slash-sidekick." 

 

"You're far more than a side kick," Rowena said. "I do like the title of Super Witch, though." 

 

"I thought you might," you smirked, thinking back to her idea for her 'Mega Coven'. "But if I'm not you side kick, then we're the Ultimate Power Couple! And even Lucifer can't stop us!" You knew that last part wasn't true. You could easily be stopped by someone like Lucifer. But as long as Rowena was alright, then it was one-thousand percent worth it. 

 

"I like the sound of that," Rowena chuckled. 

 

You kissed her forehead. "Feeling any better?" you asked. 

 

"A bit, I suppose," she said. "I still think you should leave. It's too dangerous." 

 

"Not happening, sweetheart. Like I said, you're stuck with me," you said. "And I'm willing to accept any risks and consequences." 

 

"You're a bloody idiot," Rowena said, shaking her head. 

 

"But I'm your idiot," you said. 

 

"Aye, that you are," she teased. She turned serious again almost immediately. "Are you sure there's nothing I can say to convince you-" 

 

"Nothing," you said. "I'm not going anywhere. I love you too much." 

 

"I hate you," Rowena whispered, leaning her head on your shoulder. 

 

"No, you don't," you said. You knew she could never hate you. Not really. 

 

She sighed. "No, I don't. I just want you to be safe." 

 

"And the only way that's going to happen is if we take down Lucifer, because I'm not leaving," you said. 

 

"Then I suppose we'd better get to work," Rowena said. "Killing him won't be easy." 

 

"It won't, but we'll find a way," you said. "I'll see him dead long before he hurts you again. I promise." 

 

"Thank you, darling," Rowena said. "For everything you've done for me." She lifted her head, giving you a weak smile. Tear tracks still stained her face and a few lingered near her eyes. 

 

You gently wiped the remaining tears away. "You never have to thank me," you said. 

 

She leaned into your touch, letting her eyes fall shut. "But I still want to," she said. "I love you." 

 

"I love you, too," you said. "Now, let's go figure out how to kill the Devil." 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my editor, Marrilyn  
> This was inspired by a post made by songofthecagedmoose on tumblr, link here: https://songofthecagedmoose.tumblr.com/post/171097539305/sotcm-imagine-21-rowena-x-reader-request-by  
> Go check it out!


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